Have you ever???
Have you ever felt that things just dont seem to be meant for you. Even when those things are things that you know should happen but dont? Maybe to get that thing i have to focus more on God. But i do fear what would happen if i didnt focus on that thing. And that thing comes into my mind everyday but i cant do anything about it because it takes more than just me wanting it. Frustrated i am and of course confused. I want to shout out what i want to but i cant because it wouldnt be fair or right. Maybe i'm meant to have this confusion my whole life. It's definetly followed me so far and has become familar. Would i be lost without it?
Most days i wish all these feelings that are scrambled in my heart would just leave. But where would i be without them? They havent led me to many good places and so would that be horrible if i did my best just to shut them off? I know that what i am feeling i am not alone in. Even though no know really what i mean by this i do think many have gone through this. It's undeniable that we've searched and searched to an extent that made us feel like a failure or just unwanted.
Now i dont want any advice or sympathy given to me because its never done me good. Im not saying that the advice is bad or anything its just hasnt set me in the right direction or i've not taken it into deeper considerstion. anyways i will stop diggin myself into a hole. This is just an all out rant. A random one but those ones are the best...in my books anyways. But alas it is growing into the wee hours of the morning. I must go to dream of what i wish to happen...or whatever comes into my mind while i sleep. Good luck to those who are feeling like i am and keep your head up. I sure will for God.
Most days i wish all these feelings that are scrambled in my heart would just leave. But where would i be without them? They havent led me to many good places and so would that be horrible if i did my best just to shut them off? I know that what i am feeling i am not alone in. Even though no know really what i mean by this i do think many have gone through this. It's undeniable that we've searched and searched to an extent that made us feel like a failure or just unwanted.
Now i dont want any advice or sympathy given to me because its never done me good. Im not saying that the advice is bad or anything its just hasnt set me in the right direction or i've not taken it into deeper considerstion. anyways i will stop diggin myself into a hole. This is just an all out rant. A random one but those ones are the best...in my books anyways. But alas it is growing into the wee hours of the morning. I must go to dream of what i wish to happen...or whatever comes into my mind while i sleep. Good luck to those who are feeling like i am and keep your head up. I sure will for God.
posted by Tiffany | 14.3.07
5 Comments:
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A thought from Psalms 37:4-5. "4Take delight in the Lord and he will give you your hearts desires. 5Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him and he will help you."
So I look up from my Bar and you were there, it was hard to hear you over the steaming milk, my co-worker calling out orders, and the blessed blenders, but I heard some things. I pray that something comes about from the interview you had today Tif. And so I see you walk away from my bar, I go on break, and Tif is all gone, but where? Hmm... We should do another movie sometime, once you have an income and all that, or maby I will spot you, we will see.
Oh, right, this is a comment on your blog, supposedly about your blog. Well, It was random, heading in many directions, and some miss leading, but I hope it made sense to you, often my blog has simply been a wall for me to talk to, it always repeats what I need to hear...if that makes sense. Praying for you Tif, I hope Im not as oblivious to what's on your heart, as some might assume.
Tif, I want you to know I love you so much. I'm sooo glad that I've gotten to know you this year. You are an amazing person and I trust you with my problems and stuff. And I want to know what you're going through, I want you to able to trust me with the very deep stuff. And I don't really know what's going on here but I can listen. I hope this doesn't come under the category of advice or sympathy. Let's have coffee sometime this weekend if you want. I'm still praying for you to get a job and I hope things went well for your interview.
hey tif!
they said it all so i will just say I LUV YAH and am praying for you.
ashley
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